The Guv’ner is Whining Again

I’m sick of all the “Never Forget!” nonsense around regarding September 11th. I lived in Lower Manhattan on 9/11/01 so you can bet your ass I’m not going to be forgetting that day and neither is anyone else, fool.

What I was going to talk about instead was how travel changed after 9/11 and continues to affect us today – all those crazy security measures brought in by a desperate administration, to allegedly make our lives safer. See, I’m conflicted on it. Part of me thinks it’s irritating but it’s best to just get on with it and the other part is all indignant and belligerent at the pettiness of some of those measures.

I’m all for safe air travel. I don’t really give a rat’s ass if I have to wait in line ten minutes longer so they can screen bags a little closer. I don’t even begrudge taking off my shoes even though I appear to always be wearing lurid yellow socks with stars on and my toes poking through or something equally offensive on such occasions.

I don’t understand the anger. Some of the rules for traveling by air are stupid, there’s no denying it, but they are rules nonetheless and you arguing at a checkpoint about having to throw away your Diet Coke is not going to change the rules, it’s merely going to get you an argument and angry glares from the people in line behind you, who want you dead. You know what the rules are, they’re annoying but they’re not hard and they’ve been around for years now. You cannot bring liquids through security, it’s not a secret. Yes, it might be stupid but it’s the law. And don’t whine when some idiot insists you take off your shoes, just take them off and walk on through. It’s over in seconds, you’re on your sweet way and your argument is never going to win anyway.

One thing does puzzle me. What’s the actual POINT of the liquids ban in carry on bags? I truly don’t get it. You can take 3oz of each liquid on board with you, so long as they’re in a Ziploc bag but what if you are smuggling explosives in six teensy little bottles in one of those bags, can the Ziploc magically contain a blast should they detonate? Then WTF?

Also annoying – the TSA’s illogical confiscation procedures. You can take a cigarette lighter on the plane with you but you’ll confiscate my eyelash curler? Is it really a threat to national security? Am I going to hijack a jet by threatening to make the pilot look like Shirley Temple?

Equally puzzling to me is why people need their whole house on the plane with them to begin with. Take an iPod, a book, your wallet and your documents, homey, anyone who can’t do without a travel iron, an alarm clock, numerous hair appliances and the entire contents of their bedroom during a six hour flight, is a retard and you can quote me on that. Check that shit please. Although, now thanks to the new ‘pay-per-checked-bag’ rule coming in on most US airlines, we’ll have to deal with more idiots with enormous carry on bags blocking the overheads and making lines (and complaints) even longer at security. I can hardly wait.